Most Beautiful

"Mom, turn your beautiful face to me, you are the most beautiful."

That is what I woke up to this morning, my 7 year old son climbing into my bed with those words. How precious they where at that moment and how beautiful I felt. For a moment I did not think about my hair that was all over the place, my sleep filled eyes, my lack of make-up or the "morning wrinkles" on my face. My son truly beleived that I was most beautiful.

So why do I not see this? Why do I stare at my reflection and think "If only this was smoother, if only that was smaller..." Why do I not see the most beautiful my son sees?

Is this not how God sees us? The most beautiful? We are made in His perfect image, every part of us designed to the tiniest of detail, every cell designed to funtion to a specific order. How can the belief that we evolved to this be so real for so many people?

In our homeschool journey we come across so much of "Millions of years...." or "Evolution...." and we have many discussions on how the Bible points us to the one and only truth. It always refreshing to come across a Biblical book or study pointing us back to the Bible. One of these books that we are currently looking at is Apologia's Science Curriculum studing Astronomy from a biblical viewpoint. My kids are loving learning about our Universe without all the untruth of evolution. Taryn Hayes has a wonderful write-up and giveaway on her blog about Apologia http://www.hayesfamily.co.za/blog/2012/10/review-and-giveaway-apologia-science-homeschool-curriculum/

And I am understanding that if I am made in God's image then I am the most beautiful that I can be.

The peace that passes understanding.

And so another year draws to an end. 2011 has been a BUSY year, full of experiences that have grown me, stretched me, challenged me, humbled me and much more. God has been the centre of our year with the start of our homeschool journey, all 4 of us being baptised this year, 2 weddings and a funeral and Deacon ordanation.

As I look back over the last 12 months I can see His hand on everything we have done and experienced. I am reminded of a kiddies worship song verse :
"There is a peace that passes understanding down in my heart, where?, down in my heart to stay" "And I'm so happy. so very happy, I have the love of Jesus in my heart". This is truly how I feel right now, with all the "stuff" that came with 2011, I have a peace in my heart and the love of Christ too.

Homeschool has been a bumpy ride with too much money being spent on different curriculums and I have decided to slow down for 2012 and go back to Charlotte Mason truths. While my kids have grown so much in character this year, I think I have put too much pressure on myself (and them) to perform and "tick the box".

I found this lovely quote on a blog today:

You may have tangible wealth untold;
Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.
Richer than I you can never be –
I had a Mother who read to me.
Strickland Gillian

Rainbows : I choose rainbows.

So this morning I was lying in bed thinking about the past 13 days, 13 days of visiting an ICU ward every day, 13 days of seeing (and hearing) new life enter into this world and 13 days of seeing life leave this world. I am seeing God give and take away each day and it brings me closer to Him and my faith grows stronger every day. I look around at the people in the beds and the people standing next to the beds and I wonder how many of them do not have the Lord's comfort.

Yesterday I saw a rainbow and remeberd God loves me. Yesterday I saw my friend awake for the first time in 8 days. Yesterday I got to speak to her and see her response in her eyes and her head movements. Last night I had a rainbow in my heart.

Today my friend is sedated again. Today my friend if fighting a virus on the increase again. Today my friend is fighting for her life...again...for the 13th day. Today I choose to still have that rainbow in my heart...............

Rainstorm in my heart....

So here I sit nearly a year later to starting this blog and boy have the changes that I was anticipating been BIG! But......

Right now I sit here with such sadness in my heart. One of my closest friends lies in ICU and is fighting for her life. She has been there for a week now and I have been at the hospital every day. While I feel emotionally and mentally exhausted, I just look at her awesome husband and can't even contemplate what he is going through. He is a pillar of strength but is not afriad to show he is a man that can cry.

My faith is standing strong and I trust my King in all he controls, I know His hand rests over her and everything will happen in His time.

I feel helpless at times and wish I could wave that magic wand...

The story of the five balls.

So, I have been reading a book by James Patterson, one of my favourite authors, and in it he describes life like this:

Imagine Life is a game in which you are juggling five balls. The balls are called work, family, health, friends and integrity. And you are keeping all of them in the air. But one day, you finally come to understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls - family, health, friends, integrity - are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered. And once you truly understand the lesson of the five balls, you will have the beginnings of balance in your life.

It has made me think about the balls that I juggle daily and while I think I have the balance right at the moment it makes me all the more determined to keep it this way in the long run.

What is your balance like??? :)

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiates 3:1-8

These are lifes fundamental truths, this passag is often read and quoted but I'm not convinced it is often believed or trusted. Our lives are guided by rhythm from the day we are created with a beating heart to the day we leave this life, through the years we are guided with an ebb and flow of experiences and this creates our past, guides our present and shapes our future :)

They are coming...the winds of change..they move me..to grow...to change...to fly...it is time...to become me.

I'm not sure who penned these lines but they rang true with me when I read them. Do you ever sense that change is coming? Maybe a new season in your life is emerging? That's how I feel right now - a new season is coming but I need to remind myself that seasons don't change over night, it is a slow transition from cold rainy days to balmy spring evenings. I'll let you in on a secret - I am not patient, I want it and I want it NOW! So along with this new season comes learning the art of patience and waiting....


I am learning that time is good because the anticipation of change stirs something in me, something is alive and I now it is better than just going about my days in my comfort zone. This feeling is scary, exciting, frustrating but at least I am feeling....
Yes, I have a plan and will keep you updated :)