The peace that passes understanding.

And so another year draws to an end. 2011 has been a BUSY year, full of experiences that have grown me, stretched me, challenged me, humbled me and much more. God has been the centre of our year with the start of our homeschool journey, all 4 of us being baptised this year, 2 weddings and a funeral and Deacon ordanation.

As I look back over the last 12 months I can see His hand on everything we have done and experienced. I am reminded of a kiddies worship song verse :
"There is a peace that passes understanding down in my heart, where?, down in my heart to stay" "And I'm so happy. so very happy, I have the love of Jesus in my heart". This is truly how I feel right now, with all the "stuff" that came with 2011, I have a peace in my heart and the love of Christ too.

Homeschool has been a bumpy ride with too much money being spent on different curriculums and I have decided to slow down for 2012 and go back to Charlotte Mason truths. While my kids have grown so much in character this year, I think I have put too much pressure on myself (and them) to perform and "tick the box".

I found this lovely quote on a blog today:

You may have tangible wealth untold;
Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.
Richer than I you can never be –
I had a Mother who read to me.
Strickland Gillian

Rainbows : I choose rainbows.

So this morning I was lying in bed thinking about the past 13 days, 13 days of visiting an ICU ward every day, 13 days of seeing (and hearing) new life enter into this world and 13 days of seeing life leave this world. I am seeing God give and take away each day and it brings me closer to Him and my faith grows stronger every day. I look around at the people in the beds and the people standing next to the beds and I wonder how many of them do not have the Lord's comfort.

Yesterday I saw a rainbow and remeberd God loves me. Yesterday I saw my friend awake for the first time in 8 days. Yesterday I got to speak to her and see her response in her eyes and her head movements. Last night I had a rainbow in my heart.

Today my friend is sedated again. Today my friend if fighting a virus on the increase again. Today my friend is fighting for her life...again...for the 13th day. Today I choose to still have that rainbow in my heart...............

Rainstorm in my heart....

So here I sit nearly a year later to starting this blog and boy have the changes that I was anticipating been BIG! But......

Right now I sit here with such sadness in my heart. One of my closest friends lies in ICU and is fighting for her life. She has been there for a week now and I have been at the hospital every day. While I feel emotionally and mentally exhausted, I just look at her awesome husband and can't even contemplate what he is going through. He is a pillar of strength but is not afriad to show he is a man that can cry.

My faith is standing strong and I trust my King in all he controls, I know His hand rests over her and everything will happen in His time.

I feel helpless at times and wish I could wave that magic wand...